The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.

– Max De Pree

I don’t recall how I stumbled upon this quote, but as I think about where we are in the year, what a wonderful reminder to take a deep breath, exhale, and remember what is important. For many, this tends to be the time of year where family gathers, where trips down memory lane take center stage, and where often we give thanks.

I am certainly looking forward to the several day respite from work to do so with my family. And I would be remiss not to take a moment to reflect and give thanks from a professional standpoint as well, with the quote providing a nice segway to do so.

Define Reality

The quote offers several tidbits of wisdom to draw upon, the first of which is the responsibility of a leader to define reality. From a family context, how this often takes shape is someone stepping up to ensure there is a plan. Whose house will be hosting? How is everyone contributing? The list goes on.

From a work context, I’ll reference an old Proverb Herbert Hoover (31st President of the US) quoted in his inaugural speech … where there is no vision, the people parish. This is true for countries, for companies, and essentially everything with organization tied to it. As product management leaders, our role is to develop a crystal-clear vision of where we are going while at the same time inspiring others to embrace the vision and help to make it a reality.

Servant Leadership

Book ending the quote is the reference to the leader being a servant. When I think about this with family during the Thanksgiving meal, it means being aware of the sheer number of things which much be prepared ensuring no one person bears all of the burden. It means being willing to do myself what I know others will do themselves but shouldn’t have bear alone.

Defined by Robert Greenleaf in the early 1970s, the main principle of servant leadership suggests leaders remain attentive to the concerns of their followers and empathize with them, including those with little power in a system. Servant leaders make others better by listening, through understanding and empathy, by being aware and especially being self-aware, through persuasion, through conceptualization or vision, by being a good steward, and through commitment to the growth of people and the greater community.

When it comes to servant leadership, my inspiration is drawn from Nelson Mandela who said real leaders must be ready to sacrifice all for the freedom of their people. Let that sink in … ultimately, it’s not about us as leaders.

Give Thanks

And last but not least from the quote is to say Thank You. With family, this can often be difficult. We take them for granted or just forget to say thank you because we get busy. It’s no different in a professional setting. I was in a leadership training session last week where I heard about the five-penny challenge. To summarize:

Authentic compliments and encouraging words can go far to create a trusting, positive environment. But we all get busy and wrapped up in our own stuff, so as a reminder to give out positive words to others throughout your day, I want you to put five pennies in your right pocket. Every time you say something kind or encouraging to another person, move one penny from your right pocket to your left pocket. Before you can go home that night, you need to have all five pennies in your left pocket.

I took this to heart because I do get busy and often forget to say Thank You. I am going to use this post and the five-penny challenge as a catalyst to do better. And so, as I reflect back, I am thankful for …

• The many companies & bosses who have given me the opportunity
• The awesome successes … as well as the failures
• The mentors and comrades who have walked with me during those successes and failures
• The executives who believed in me and were willing to champion the vision I presented
• The executives who challenged my premises, causing me to rethink and come back stronger
• The architects and engineers with whom I have brainstormed & orchestrated
• The product development teams who have delivered for me, sometimes under difficult circumstances
• The sales leaders with whom I have collaborated & combated
• The marketing teams with whom I have dreamed with & created
• My colleagues and team members who have sharpened me as iron sharpens iron

Happy Thanksgiving all!